We are all aware of the times when it seems like all our body want is sex. The realization of the fact that the temptation to have sex with someone other than their spouses still comes raises a lot of questions among some married people. Certainly many of them came into marriage with a misguided understanding of sex drive and so expected that sexual relationship with their spouse will keep them immune to sexual temptations. Well, I hope they have learned their lessons without regrets.
Remember the incident that shocked the world in 2001, when a 23 year old man was caught raping a baby girl of 9 months old in South Africa.
In a workshop on ‘Handling Sexual Pressure’ a Christian young man shocked his peers by admitting that there are times he just feels like having sex and that sometimes it could be after prayers. He expressed surprise that at such times he fights the thought but wonders why it should be there at all. And he asked, ‘Why is it so?’ This question was a bombshell in view of the circumstances under which he asked it. On the other hand, during the same workshop, a certain lady unashamedly collaborated what our brother said earlier. She shared how she had to bring a discussion with a friend of hers to an abrupt end because, according to her, she was having a raging feeling, desiring that the young man would draw her close and hold her. Thank God she acted wisely, if not……..hmmm!
It was early in the morning and I had just finished praying when I heard a knock on my door. It was a young man I knew very well. He was in tears. On enquiry, he narrated how he committed fornication over the night and had to run to me for help. According to him it started from a discussion into the night and he was able to convince the lady to sleep over in the house where he had visited and discovered that his host had made a sudden trip. Since he knew where the house keys were kept he decided to sleep over there. He confessed that while they were inside, one thing led to another and they ended up on the bed of sin.
There is a University where males are not allowed into the female hostels and vice versa. However, there are several young people of both sexes from the host community who are allowed to hawk items inside these hostels. On a certain day ‘shock waves’ was sent round the campus when it was discovered that some of these small boys and girls were being abused sexually by the students. They do this by luring these innocent children into their rooms pretending to want to buy an item from them. While in their rooms they play on these children’s innocence and use them to satisfy their sexual urge. Students of both sexes were found to be involved in this.
These are true life stories pointing to a struggle that goes on within for us to have sex no matter the condition, who our partner may be or the method of securing a possible willing or unwilling partner. There are people, especially among the youths, who resort to masturbation, lesbianism, homosexuality or internet sex for getting sexual satisfaction. Today, just as we have female prostitutes, we also have young men who are contracted by some rich women/ladies for sexual satisfaction. We need not open the books on the ‘exploits’ of campus girls on this.
We are not only talking about singles but even many married people engage in shameful sexual activities and so bring more doubt in the minds of young people on the possibility of living without engaging in premarital sex.
There are struggles within! Though most people agree to the sinfulness of having sex with anyone other than their spouse, reality shows that few have learned to win in the struggle not to satisfy the urge for sex with the wrong person; anyone that is not your spouse.
Our flesh will continue to struggle with us for sexual satisfaction. Put rightly, we will continue to be tempted sexually. Sadly enough, many people are falling into the snare occasioned by a mix of ignorance on how to handle these temptations and the inherent disobedient bent of man. “We no longer feel surprised or shocked at the knowledge of another fall into sexual sin by even people considered to be servants of God.” It did not begin in our generation but how I wish it would not happen again.
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