I can never forget my own struggles with sexual temptations and even after becoming a Christian it wasn’t like a quick fix and it is still not. We must make the choice daily to glorify God in every area of our lives including the area of sex. Just as no victory comes by an accident, in the same way, experiencing daily victory over sexual temptations requires a choice to live pure, planning, and action. We need to decide never to quit in our striving to live pure daily. Even when we fail, we should never contemplate quitting and so become victims of self pity.
I have had the privilege of counseling several young people but not so many adults over issues of sex. There were occasions where I was angry with some people, some other times I couldn’t keep myself from shading tears. There are questions that comes with so much pain that you, as a counselor, may fall victim of derailing from what you are supposed to do. Here are some scenarios, personal encounters during counseling. I have tried to present them carefully so as to protect the individuals that confided in me. Some of them wrote me, there are others who opened up to me during an online chat while some came to me for counseling.
Scenario 1
“I am a young lady of 22 years old and am born again. There is this brother in our youth group who is close to me and I admire him so much. On a certain day, we were going home together, after our youth meeting and I betrayed emotions. I ended up in his arms and we caressed. On many occasions we have really engaged in passionate romance. Now it seems we can’t stop. My major problem is that now my mind is full of lust and I’m always imagining myself in his arms. On the other hand I also feel he is closing in on me and except one of us does something we will end up doing something stupid. But I don’t want to offend or lose him. Please sir, what do I do?”
Scenario 2
“………….I am writing this with tears in my eyes…in fact I need urgent help. Sir, there was this day you preached in our fellowship and you asked someone to read a scripture which I did. Midway you asked me to stop while you made some explanations. As I was waiting, standing in front of the fellowship, suddenly my eyes fell on this sister who was seated very carelessly. If you observe, at the point I continued reading I was no longer reading smoothly as before. Since that day I’ve not been myself and the picture of what I saw have refused to leave me and sometimes even when I am praying it comes. It keeps forcing itself on me. Now am always thinking dirty things…….I am tired. Please help me sir………”
Scenario 3
“Pastor, I started having this problem when on a certain day I entered my daughter’s room and met her naked, just about to put on her clothes. The truth is that since that day I have been lusting after her and other women also. …………………One day she was scantily dressed and at a point I was lost in my gaze and she seem to notice and asked what it was that I was gazing at and I lied my way out. But something happened that made me to write you, after listening to you on the day you ministered in our church. I was talking with her and became careless and slapped her on her bum……though I quickly apologized but I’m afraid something is wrong with me. I think I’m going crazy in my mind…”
Scenario 4
“…..There is this sister in our fellowship who is very friendly with me. We gist a lot and she feels free with me; she easily holds me and sometimes reclines on me. In fact she trusts me. She believes that I am not like the other boys who think sex is what every friendship with the opposite sex must result to (she told me that herself). But the fact is that she is overdoing things and I am scared. She holds me, hugs me anyhow…..I mean she is exposing herself too much to me, sits carelessly a lot of times and now am struggling with several things in my mind. I don’t want to lose her trust on me but please sir, how do I explain things to her? I don’t want her to be disappointed.”
Scenario 5
“Sir, I am really ashamed to talk about this. I became a Christian many years ago and have been doing well by the grace of God. But I have this problem of lust. Please sir, help me because now I am also using pornographic books, and sometimes I visit pornographic sites in the internet. For a long time my prayer life has been down and I feel dirty because I am also masturbating. My fear is that it seems I now have a spirit wife because I usually have sex in my dream with a particular lady. It seems I know her in the physical but have not seen her yet……”
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